


Cat ♡ Tomato

by Detective_Rin



Series: Rin's Crack Fest [1]
Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Crack, Crack and Angst, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm SO sorry @rinmaki shippers looking for. good writing, What Have I Done, anyways i have class in 6 hours, bye rimak shippers, elirin fans do u exist? if u do im sorry for chap 3. lol, honk gets her own bonus chapter, honk in: the duck song, i gotta stop writing at 3am man, im sorry nicomaki shippers chapter 2 is for u, kotoumi fans get one (1) breadcrumb tho, rimak canon, this was weirdly fun to write, umimaki fans staring at chap 4: tf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:48:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Detective_Rin/pseuds/Detective_Rin
Summary: Crack.What have I done, please just take it, it's not even funny it's just. pure crack
Relationships: Ayase Eli/Hoshizora Rin, Ayase Eli/Toujou Nozomi, Hoshizora Rin/Nishikino Maki, Minami Kotori/Sonoda Umi, Nishikino Maki/Sonoda Umi, Nishikino Maki/Yazawa Nico
Series: Rin's Crack Fest [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1709029
Comments: 11
Kudos: 19





	1. tje dramw begims....

"Ogm mak im home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!+!+!!++11" said rin aftet cominh home ftom dojng igdol atuf wiyh hanauo

"rinsulin go awae im emo an sad anhd i dobt love yuo" tomato saed wit angy face

rin jumoed mak an saed "mak y ars stupkd" abd mak reolied "no u" 

but syrptise! nya sad "uno reveese caed" and red sai "oh no" and yelow saic 

"niw u love me' and sinc mak wS stupkd she sayd "ok lob uy" 

cst face saud 'haha jk loseer" abc she skatex away with hef heeliestm anf lef mak to cri ob the flooe

the enc


	2. cryies -rin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Did you really think it would end? Think again.
> 
> Aka I'm bored, it's 3am, and this time I'm torturing my fellow nicomaki fans. I'm so sorry y'all

1 dya latet od somehhibg idk

"tomat wai" cay sai

"Woft do u wznr rin" mak reoliec

"i lhied i lovd u,' ri was tmllinb tge gruth

sufdenly nic kickdx dodn tgd dooe

"surjze fuckefz" skile e.oji saod

"ohm ni tahts hot" mak saies blyshig

ri was shixked

"mak i thouhgt u loked me nywa" sne scrwamed in angre

"sori i dibnt love y abymoer" towmat screech

"Irs nuco bitch" said nico abd shs kissde mak on tge luips

rjb scream adn wae safd dorevef


	3. fuck yiy makb nya -rin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You thought it was over. Ha.  
> I spun a random wheel and it selected this ship so we going with this.

onne dat nic abd mak weer wayxhing s mobie whrvn rin bysted doen tge door 

"rin whde tge fricj??????" saicf nico in shocj

"fyck yoi nya!!!!!!!!" rin screechdc and ran in buy sge wasnt allobe!!!!! 

"Why ftge fdick is eli here!!!!!!!!!!" msk yelled at cat face

all od a sidden rib flioped tgw tablw becaise she is stronk

"sincd you wee being a bullyi ilik eli now nya!!!! tomatoez aee gross abyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" nya screamec

"whar tje fuck!!!" smileu faxe sayed

eli smilved abcd saix "tomato this is what u get for bullying rin" sbe was tge obly one that could speks properlg 

"fuck yoyu i stil lobe her!!!!@!!!!" mak startde to cri

tgen nico git angrey adn left

"suck it maki she likes me now. i'm more harasho than you'll ever be." eli redponded and wakled out teh doro

"awhat shd saiyd" rin sayed an lefted

maj goy on the sofa and crjyed hardee bceuase she wsa so sad


	4. rni istn sexc lol -mak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mak starrd at om "wot de fak?!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didja miss me? I hope that's a yes!  
> Yeah, surprise, this isn't abandoned at all! I'll be picking it back up again, so enjoy.  
> Or don't. This is probably torture to some of you.
> 
> lol

mak wss cryng in tgec livign roomb in her hohse

"wtf rib left mr noe wgat" sge sobbsd

sufdenlg she hears a crasgh adn somegging hit ghe crapet bi hre feert

iyt wsa.......oom!

mak starrd at om "wot de fak?!!!"

umo sexd ,"tomayo i kniq u arr deoression, thsafs not goud" adn shr likced hre lipa

"ok" red cryied "whta shoulrd we do" "tjis"

blu seded as she.....kiseed mak!

"ogm tahts hot" tsnu sayd akd kisd vbac

sudently rin bronke the window adn ran in scremeign

"WTF NYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"fak ijts yelow!!!!!!!" om yeled ib shokc

"rin wye de fok arr u her!!!" mak sgouted

"eli fukign ledt me nya!!!!!!!! seh waas hotny four nozomi nyA!!!!!! im mad nya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

rin was mad

"adn den i cum bakc her adn u lik omi naio nya!!! fuk yi nya!!!"

adn erin rab asay criyng

"wayr com baci ib stikl gau cor u!!!!!!!!!"

mikey moise scremse adn chasesd ran

"whzr de fak" um sayd sadlu

tjen kotru shiowd ip n saed

"um ur cutr lets dayt"

and om saud "fuc ye"


	5. i lob yuo rni cries -maik

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rmi fel of teh edcge!
> 
> "noooooooooioiiiiioioiiiii!!!!!!!", scremdd mak!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're nearing the end, folks! Get ready for some crack-angst! (What do you call that? Crangst? There's gotta be some way to shorten that.)  
> Anyways, enjoy!   
> \- Rin

mak folowdd ri inti teg forrets bejind hre housr

"rni wher thsr fsk ard yuo goinb???????????" maj yrlled

"awat nyac!! yuo dobt lobe me anynodr nya!!!!" cat scremed bakc

adn shex gof nesr tve cliff taht wasd at thve edgd of thex forest

"rmi waidt!! im do lovb yu" maki sed ahnd shed strartes to cri

"ogm relu??" ri askrd blushig 

"ye!!!!!!" tomayo saysd witj a smike on hwr face

"yays!!!! inn so happui nywa!!!" rob shoutdesd afn junprd upp in tegd air!!!

maj gaspd  
"no rij!!! itcz a cliff!"

bit it wsa too latse

"nyaaaaaaaaaasaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasaaaaaaa!!!a"   
rmi fel of teh edcge!

"noooooooooioiiiiioioiiiii!!!!!!!", scremdd mak!

maji criyed agen "whuy.....nwo she lobes me bak bty wjat id shws ded????!! nwi il nevsr be happui"

isd rib ded or nit? wil mahk be alonr forevsr? stat tuned to finsd ouyt...  
tob be cobtibued....


	6. lov -ri+mak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "rimak canon nya?" rinsulin afked
> 
> "ri maak canon" tomayo nodred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end y'all,, whoo this has been a rollercoaster. It's 4am and what better way is there to finish this than how the fic started? So, without further ado, here it comes! The RinMaki you've been waiting for!

dyas layer ri wsa in tje hospiyal (yss ghe one malks parsnts own)

nya wsa borfed i het hospiyjal rokm whdn sudenpy tghere was a kbock on ghe door

"cpme in nya!!!!" shw callrd ouct

adn the dor opebed to sjow...mak!

"ofm mak!!!!!!!!!!!" ri scremed adn cried

"ogm rim!!!!!!" .ak yeled bakc

red rabn forsad and hugges yelow

"i mised yiu nya!!! i lobe yuo!!" ran sed lourdly

mal blusjrd "me toi"

adn tge rets of μ's burst i n!!!!

"ribs awake guts!!!!" honk sjoutrd

"yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" kotri sed

"thayws good" hanzyo replued

"sje betr get better son" umi saysd

"i nivko biko neec yuo to gfet bette so we can praxruce afain" nic stated (duh)

"I'm glad." eli responded (remembrd gyts shes tge only onet tjar can soeak opropetly

"thsts good, my cssrds ptedicted tjis" bestgirl comneted

tjen mak turjed to thec redt of μ's snd sed "se have sonethibg to saey" adn glancrd at rin

"rimak canon nya?" rinsulin afked maju

"ri maak canon" tomayo nodred

abd eceryove saed "yay" evem umi adn nico

tje ednd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though this is the end, I might end up adding a bonus chapter because there's been ZERO Honk in this cracky mess. We'll see. Stay tuned!


	7. honok hiobk am gose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "hettttt (bon bim bo.) got avry braad?"
> 
> Honoka appears in the Duck Song!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got bored and it's 4am again so here's the Honk bonus chapter (yes Honk is a goose, a goose rockin a killer side ponytail).

a jonk salkrd up tova lrmonaede stavd agd she sayd to tgecman ribihng thef stacsd

"hettttt (bon bim bo.) got avry braad?"

tje man saiyf "ni we selk lemonqede but iys cole adn ird freeh andn irs all howm made. cna i ger yuo a glads?" 

andn thwb honk safyd "ol passs"

tjen she wasled aeay (waadled wasel) til thhw vry nexu fay ,(ba abba ba bbab abbab abba

wjeve yhev honk walsjee up tonthw lmeonade stadwf an she says to uhe mab runig thwb stabs

"hettttyety (boms bins sbo) goy nay braesd?"

tej ma saidg "non liek os sadd yedsteday we only selk lemande onk? whyb nto girv it ar tyr?" 

tehbe honk sead "gododbye" 

tehen she waldlded away (wnadle walslw) ans dthe wadldles away (waldle wasedel) then she walelem aaty (wasel wasesd) til tyeh vey nexr daya (bomv bimu bomfm bum.u bodkmn bmumbjmu)

sheb theb e honk wlLed up torn tueb lemeonade stans andn sheb ssyd tot tyrh ma.n runign tehe stand

"heyeyet ( obm. bam bom) gt9 any brwrd?" 

tehrv man sard "lOOk tgsi is geting old id me ba lrmodnads al weve cecr spld. wnu nton g8wce it a go?" 

ytbw honk soad "he9w bouyt no" 

htnen ahe wadlde aeay (qadle walde) tehn sh3 walssed awys (,wadle wdel wesal) then shw walles awya (weadl wade ) tok the nvery next dsu (bomg bom. bomf bojm nim kinm bom) 

wnen the hosnk walnes up to then lmeonad estabd and she said to thwn man ru ign thrb stabs 

"Hetetytt (vjom bon him) hot any bred?"

tjebe mabd sairbs "tahst ir! Iifb oyo sont star way hongk il gldu upu tu a trte an d lrcve yfok there stck. so sont egt too cloae!" 

the honsk saind "aduos" 

tehn she wadlde way (wawsdel wSl) gene ahe waswls way (wasle wasm wlale) then ahe wallse.Wya (,wesla wlals) tol teh very nexr day (,bodn bim bsomx bzin nobm bxomn k.m)

wheb ybw honm walme sup to the lemoamse stabd and ane sea d to the mab eunign the stand

"Hetyetetet (bomg bicm bom) gotb anyb glyue?" 

"wjat"

,gyo any hlue?"

"whye owul i- oh" 

"mnd one mor w qyestio foem tuo ,v got Ny braed?" (bomg bobm bovm bivm gogm bovk kblvm)

and htbr man nudst stope d, tejen hev starara to amiel, thrk he starre to lauf, heb laughe s dorba whirl, hr sayd

"coen on honk, lets wlak to tne atore, ltsv bit tuo aome bread so yoyn wont havev to rask anhmore" 

som thejeu wlaked tor theh store adn the mab bouft soem braed, he gace spen to thebhonk and she setad

",,no tkanks. biy you knw9w what soyrbs good? iy wowud makw mat day. so tou tjink thais stiee, do yor thikn hris storew, don tou turik thia stiew ahs any lwmonade,m?" 

tekb sahe wadled aqay (wead wlewde) te3b ahe walsqs away (weara seadle ardwe) theen ahbe wlassed aaey (wadedd awealf)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The man may or may not be Umi's dad. Why? Because who else would get so mad at Honk in μ's. Umi. And she's gotta get it from somewhere.
> 
> I know Hanayo was barely featured in this fic too so she might get her own chapter with the Duck Song 2. Who knows.


End file.
